Thoughts on The Artist Way’s Morning Pages

At first, I was confused as to why

you shouldn’t go back and look

 at your morning pages. 

Julia Cameron doesn’t say why,

but she does tell us to not look

for at least 6-8 weeks.  And even then…

Fuck those pages.  You don’t owe them

shit. Or is it they don’t owe you shit?   

And I was like damn, Julia.  Calm down. 

I often rummage through old journals

like I’m on an Easter egg hunt.

They’re not called found poems for nothing. 

You gotta look for them.

But in the last three days, I’ve found

by adhering to the practice

of knowing I’m not going to look back,

I’ve become actively less attached.

Let me revise that.  I’ve become much less

concerned with what the outcome

of my writing will be

and more immersed in

the now of my stream

of consciousness.

If I know I’m not going back

to comb through the words

for a nimble turn of phrase

or an image I didn’t know I had,

I can eliminate the inner audience.  

And that’s a good thing.

Nobody’s watching.  Not even me.

As soon as I finish the morning pages

and put my pen down, the wind blows

the sand mandala away, and there’s

a freedom there

that’s new to me.