Does going to the woods to live deliberately mean you turn the volume up or down? If so, on what? Up on the deep breaths? Down on the internet? Up on the silence? Down on the noise? Up on the acceptance? Down on the judgment?
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Some of my favorite parts of No Walls and the Recurring Dream are when Ani gives us insight on her songwriting process. She writes, “People have often asked me about my songwriting process and all I can say is this: It takes many forms. Intentionally so. I don’t ever want to write the same song twice so I try taking different routes to finish the line.
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So at first, I was confused. To overlook seems passive, as if it doesn’t require effort. But the way A Course In Miracles explains the idea, to overlook means to literally look over the ego and see the light inside the person you need to forgive.
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I suppose my biggest issue with Me was I felt like Elton John trivialized suicide. When he recounted taking too much valium and jumping into a swimming pool during a party, it seemed more like performance art than a cry for help. Or maybe it was a cry for help disguised as performance art. Or maybe all cries for help require a little performance art in order to be effective. I can’t tell.
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I felt better after our chat. He said, “Try not to put too much pressure on yourself,” right before we hung up.
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Sometimes I have reading fantasies. There’s this one where I’m next to a crackling wood fireplace. I got fuzzy slippers on. I’m drinking espresso. I’m in a comfy chair with a cat on my lap. There’s a lamp in the background. The whole room is basically a tracksuit and everything is soft and still.
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Keeping a creative schedule is super chill.
It’s okay to not be okay. And it’s okay to be okay. It’s all okay always.
What you’re looking for is looking for you. Keeping a blog is a great way to spin that cycle faster.
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