Killswitch Afternoon

You know how Russian hackers broke

in and stole the last

election and how Biden won every county

in Michigan and how Stacy Abrams

lost by an inch robbed in Georgia?

Well, I hacked into the fridge

and stole the chips and hummus. 

And I guess it runs in the family

because my dog just ate my cat’s food

and you’d think my cat would be upset.

Since the fridge is an inanimate object,

it’s not gonna do shit. 

And my cat is napping passive aggressively

in the dog’s bed and that’s about

all the revenge she’s gonna get.