Sweet Masterclass Password, Bro: A Stuck Inside Poem, Day 23

My buddies and I decided to go halfsies

three ways on a Masterclass subscription. 

My friend Andrew’s jump shot has really improved

even though he’s never played basketball.

Something about his follow through is different now. 

It’s subtle and it’s imaginary, but it’s definitely there.  

I wonder if all the legit astronauts

are gonna get pissed after I watch this tutorial

and reenter Earth’s gravity

without all the jet lag. Neil Armstrong

had to work his whole life   

to one day finally experience zero gravity.

I didn’t even go to space camp as a kid,

but here I am,

swimming through the air

in my living room. 

Austin said his soufflé game

is getting pretty tight.  He said Gordon Ramsey

is actually a nice guy once you get to know him. 

Austin’s daydreaming about opening up

a restaurant called ostentatious. 

They got one Masterclass taught by Usher

and I’m thinking I might need some

baller ass dance moves

to go with my dog and pony show

where I parade around my feelings

and encourage other people

to take their hearts on walks as well. 

My neighbor has started washing her mail

in a bucket with soap

before she brings it into her home

and I can’t help but wonder

which Masterclass she’s been watching.